I consider Spanx to be in the Top 10 of all-time greatest inventions that make my life easier. It’s up there with chocolate croissants (combines my two favorite food groups: bread AND chocolate!), the iPad and Prozac.

At the beginning of May, I found myself in Little Rock to speak to the doctors and staff at the University of Arkansas Medical School. I wanted to wear my new green dress, the one that makes me feel like I’m channeling Christina Hendricks from Mad Men. To make sure everything looked good, I wore my Spanx.

While doing my hair, I checked the back of it with a hand mirror and saw one of the side effects of Spanx and physics – the muffin top spillage. My back flab was pushed up so I had back boobs, and so throughout the day, I had to make sure my undergarment was pulled up to my armpits so my flab was tucked in.

During my first productivity presentation, I shared this quote from Cindy Glovinsky, who wrote “Making Peace with the Things in Your Life”:  “Any given container can hold only a volume of things equal to its own volume – without something spilling over, that is.”

In the context I was using it, I was talking about our brains and our work loads. We can only take on so much before the dam breaks and things spill over. I almost laughed out loud when I thought to myself how Spanx and productivity work the same.

Only so much flab can go into a compression garment, and only so much stuff can go on your to-do list before suddenly you have a muffin top oozing out or brain cells exploding.

This situation reminded me how we need to look at our vessels and make sure we’re doing what we need and want to do, retaining what we want to retain and squishing in the flab we want to squish in.

But there comes a time when the best app to use is the Off button. Okay, so technically, the Off button isn’t an app, but it’s a good thing to use every now and again.

There is a time to surf the web. There is also a time to turn things off.
When people use the term “digital vacation,” you know the need to unplug is become more and more important.

We live in a crazy, over-connected, and multi-tasking world, and we need boundaries to survive the madness.

During talks I give about productivity, I talk about how to take a vacation. Yes, yes, it seems I have to tell people how to take a vacation.

When you’re on vacation, you don’t do work email, you don’t go into the office and say “I’m not really here,” and you don’t call in. If you do that and you’re a manager, you are sending the message that you don’t trust your team and you’re a micromanager – even if that’s not your intention. The office should be able to function without you for a week or two. If it can’t, something is wrong.

There are times when I get pushback about checking work email while on vacation. I call them the “Yeah, buts.” Yeah, but I’ll have a bunch of email in my inbox when I get back. Emails should never be used for emergencies as a general rule, and you need your vacation to recover from the craziness we experience on a daily basis.

So when you need to, use the Off button and disconnect. You won’t regret it.

Pair the fact that most airlines charge upwards of twenty-five dollars per checked bag with the knowledge that some 26 million pieces of luggage go missing annually at the airport, and you will certainly think twice before checking a bag.

I travel to sometimes as many as three locations in a week for speaking engagements — that is a lot of plane rides and opportunities for disaster. I’ve suffered it all, lost bags the day of speaking engagements, busted hair products all over my clothing because of crazy baggage handling and even one incident where my luggage smelled like it was lovingly stored in a dumpster during the flight. No more! In 2012, I promised that I would never again check baggage. I even managed to keep that promise during three international trips — France, Germany and Trinidad.

The Secret to Packing Everything You Need Lies In Four Rules.

1. Invest in a great quality carry-on. If you purchase a cheap, flimsy carry-on, your bag will likely not be able to bear the weight of your items. Be sure to check with your preferred airline carrier for the most up-to-date size specifications for carry-on bags. The size does differ for domestic and international travel.
2. Only pack exactly what you will use. Not only does this apply to the clothing you will wear, but also to skin care, hair care products and makeup. Invest in small, sturdy containers to hold the exact amount of product you will need. Also, do not pack “just in case” clothes. If you need something else, you can buy it when you get there.
3. Be willing to reuse clothing. While this is obviously not appropriate for undergarments, wearing pants twice may be an option if you are sitting in a cool environment.
4. Pack as if you are playing Tetris. Smart utilization of space is key. Socks should be stuffed into shoes. There should be few open cavities in your bag. One of my favorite YouTube videos for packing is called Pack for Weeks in a Carry-on by PackingLight.com. Using this method, I packed clothes, including formal wear and a winter coat, for nearly a week in Paris using my carry-on.

Putting Everything in Its Place

For overnight speaking engagements, I can travel with my rolling laptop bag. For trips requiring two or more days, I need my larger carry-on.

On my inside flap, I pack my protein powder and throat lozenges. In the larger compartment, I place my shoes on the perimeter and then fill the middle with my toiletry and makeup bags. I put socks and other similar items in my shoes. Sometimes, when I’m somewhere for more than two nights, I’ll pack my Magic Bullet on this level.

Using the packing method detailed in the video mentioned above, I pack my clothes on top of the shoes and toiletries.

I add my small laptop case with computer on top of my clothing.

In the first front pocket, I keep my inflatable travel pillow, eye mask and ear muff band.

In the second front pocket, I include any and all documents, tickets, etc.

That’s it! Feel free to share your favorite packing tricks.

Our job descriptions will say we need to multitask, and in job interviews, we all sit in the chair across from a prospective boss, claiming we are the kings and queens of multitasking. “Oh, yes,” we find ourselves saying, “I can multitask like there’s no tomorrow. Watch me read ‘War and Peace’ while creating a killer PowerPoint and ordering lunch for the department.”

Meanwhile, your coworkers are wondering why there are bookmarks on their plates instead of chicken salad. Your boss is tapping her foot about a tardy slide deck, and you’re banging your head against a hefty book.

Like I said, poor humans. Studies of our cognitive abilities keep showing that we are not good at multitasking. One study said men and women both lose 10 IQ points when they try to do two things at once. Basically, we’re making ourselves stupid when we multitask. This is why they say texting and driving at the same time makes you more dangerous than a drunk driver.

We live in a mobile, high-tech world where we have access to information at our fingertips 24 hours a day. We can check email in the middle of the grocery store or while sitting on an exotic beach because we can. But does that mean we should?

People are using the term “digital vacation” more and more. I, for one, encourage my friends, family and organizing clients to take digital vacations when they’re on vacation. During the recent Christmas holidays, I took two weeks off, and, to make sure I wasn’t tempted to check work email, I turned Outlook off on my iPad.

Email is never an emergency. If it’s a real emergency, people should call or appear at your desk.

Focus on doing one thing at a time. You will be surprised by how quickly you can finish up a task or project just by focusing on what you need to do.

Protect your time. Before you open email in the morning, take 30 minutes to 90 minutes and zero in on those important tasks. Brian Tracy refers to this as “eating the frog.” My organizing colleague and friend Ellen Delap calls them “power hours,” and Tony Schwartz of The Energy Project refers to them as “sprinting.” Call it whatever you want, but try it. You’ll like it. I know I do, and I feel more productive when I do it. Then check email when your time is up. It will still be there.

What is your MIT? I know how priorities can shift from hour to hour and day to day at work. No matter how much stuff is flying at you, one thing has to be the Most Important Thing (MIT), and that’s where your focus should begin. Each day, ask yourself, “What is my MIT?”

Reduce multitasking and email. Brainstorm with your team on how you can reduce emails as a group. This may require actually talking to each other. It’s okay. They want less emails and multitasking too.

Yes, multitasking is a bitch. But you can win and keep your IQ intact.

What do you do to honor these special moments? If you love it, it should be honored and respected.

Frame it.

Use a shadowbox or have it framed at a shop. One of my friends has a grocery list her grandmother wrote in a small frame in her kitchen.

I prefer making my own shadowboxes. I use fabric or scrapbook paper to line the back and then either pin things to the back, glue them or use Velcro, depending on what it is. I made one with my Barbie and Barbie-like dolls. I also like this Pinterest idea of using a drawer as a shadowbox.

I saw this Pinterest project where you decoupage photos on a wooden letter. You could do this on pretty much anything. Another Pinterest idea is simply decoupaging photos on a foam board.

Quilt it.

Back in the day, people used leftover fabric to make quilts. One of the old quilts my mother has from her childhood features leftover fabric from her own mother’s sewing projects. Mom, who loves to sew, can point to individual squares and say which one of her sisters had a dress out of that particular material.

Nowadays, people can use them to create a new way to honor old clothes. My friend Barbara makes rag quilts out of children’s clothing for her Etsy customers. A new client just asked her to make a quilt out of her husband’s work uniforms now that he’s retiring.

I’m planning to have a T-shirt quilt made from some special T-shirts of my youth. Another friend, who has a vast collection of rock concert T-shirts, had a quilt made. Or should I say had a rockin’ quilt made.

Display it.

Having treasures hidden away in dusty boxes is not a great way to honor the things you love. The traditional display on a shelf is always an option, but shelves can only hold so much. Plus there is so much a person can dust!

Long before becoming an organizer, I saw an interview actor Dennis Franz and his wife did on a decorating show. They showed video of their home and they had small collections on a few shelves. Dennis Franz said they liked to collect until the shelf was full, and then they stopped. I thought it was a brilliant idea.

I have a collection of salt and pepper shakers, and I have a curio cabinet in my home where I display them. I like shakers that are fun and whimsical, and I just don’t buy any old pair. They have to speak to me – like the Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson set I found at the Sherlock Holmes Museum in London.

Larger items can be used as bookends or wall art. You can really be creative in creating displays of your treasures.

If you love it, display it, quilt it or frame it. Honor your treasures.

Since this is the first day of 2013 and January is Get Organized Month, I thought it was fitting to talk about how to be better. I know many of us have made resolutions, and if we want to be successful, we need to be better.

Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson wrote about the nine things successful people do differently. One of the main points was the difference between having a “be good” mindset versus. a “be better” mindset. Halvorson said research has shown that people who adopt a “be better” mindset are more engaged, productive and confident about their decisions. “People whose goals are about getting better, rather than being good, take difficulty in stride and appreciate the journey as much as the destination,” Halvorson writes.

This year, productivity coach Jason Womack released his newest book “Your Best Just Got Better: Work Smarter, Think Bigger, and Make More.” I first met Jason several years ago when he worked for David Allen’s company. Jason later started his own company. (His wife Jodi is equally brilliant and runs a Women’s Business Social called “No More Nylons.”)

I’m a detail kind of chick, and I’ve always struggled with the big picture/vision thing for myself. Like many of my own organizing clients, I can get in my own way of accomplishing my goals. Jason balances both approaches with his work, and he helps you think bigger so you can become better. Here are a few thought-provoking questions he suggests you ask yourself:

• Who do I spend time with that limits my thinking?
• What is getting in my way?
• What’s your why?
• Why do you think the way you think?

One of my favorite chapters is Chapter 7 where Jason discusses his “so that” statements. These “so that” statements are very powerful and can help us rise above busyness that we use to hide behind instead of accomplishing our big goals.

After you establish your big picture, Jason drills down to those details – the kinds of things that I love. He gives great advice on how to track your time and thoughts.

Are You Ready?

If you want to see typical resolutions in action, go to the gym. There is always an increase of people in the gym in January, but by Valentine’s Day, the crowd noticeably thins. You will see a few people who “stick.”

If you want to be one of those people who stick to their resolutions, ask the right questions of yourself and adopt a “get better” mindset. It’s good to be better.

For me, the term “rebel” use to conjure up images of James Dean or dancing gang members in the West Side Story musical. As I grew up, the term evolved to include women suffragettes, abolitionists, the Founding Fathers and anyone throughout history who has stood up for something they believed in even when others weren’t ready to listen.

As the saying goes, well-behaved women rarely make history. We need more rebels today. You don’t have to stand in front of a tank or occupy Wall Street to be a rebel. Sometimes you just need to let go of what holds you back, get out of your own head and make decisions so you can be your true self.

My friend Lisa Marie Selow, a self-described spiritual rocker chick, is one of those rebels, and she wants to help you to become your own Rebel Chick. Are you ready to let go of limiting beliefs, so you can live as your true self? Are you ready to let go of your inner good girl? It’s time to,  as Lisa says, “shift the crap that still holds you back, so you can rock the world and kick some ass!”

Now Lisa is rocking a new book – A Rebel Chick Mystic’s Guide. Get your copy here (the Kindle version is $2.99!). Lisa’s goal is to help you heal your spirit with the power of positive rebellion.

On her website, Lisa describes how, if you order one copy of her book, A Rebel Chick Mystic’s Guide, you’ll get access to loads of freebees including “gifts and discounts from her favorite, rock star, spiritual personal development friends!” She goes on to say how she can help you with “things such as healing relationships, handling change, getting unstuck and stoked for your life, receiving spiritual guidance, keeping your vibes up, getting your goddess on, increasing your mojo and happiness, rocking your website, getting some coaching at a discount, taking some courses to step up things in your biz and life, creating a healthier work place, and even get a chance to win some pretty, Steampunk bling.”

(If you buy three or more copies of Lisa’s book, there are even more bonuses! Lisa even offers to Skype with you and your peeps for a Q-&-A session, if you hold your own book group, as one of the amazing bonuses!

Words of Praise for A Rebel Chick Mystic’s Guide:

“Lisa Selow’s A Rebel Chick Mystic’s Guide will light a fire under your bottom and get you moving toward happiness in a big hurry.”

— Lama Marut, author of A Spiritual Renegade’s Guide to the Good Life

“If you’re ready to live life out loud, let this authenticity master introduce you to the bliss of true self-acceptance! Rewrite those rules! Craft your own definition of perfect! Lisa Selow provides an enlightening, effective blueprint for knowing and cherishing yourself, as well as learning to trust your own precious inner voice. What could be more Juicy Joyful than that?”

— Lisa McCourt, author of Juicy Joy: 7 Simple Steps to Your Glorious, Gutsy Self

“Who wouldn’t want to read a book filled with everything a misfit in the world needs to rock and rule? A Rebel Chick Mystic’s Guide invites you to create your own version of an awesome life, while rocking out to your own kick-ass theme tune. Lisa and her book o’ wonder have encouraged me to start my very kind of rebellion, the positive kind—I love it!”

— Lisa Clark, creator of www.sassyology.com and author of Sassy: the Go-for-it Girl’s Guide to Becoming Mistress of Your Destiny

Like I said, we need more rebels. Are you ready to become one?

The one item on the Thanksgiving menu rarely went well. When you only make gravy once a year, it becomes a serious challenge.

One year, I used the packet and, since I only had one packet, we each barely got a spoonful of gray. Another year, my attempt at gravy separated while sitting in the glass gravy boat on the table, and we had to stir it several times before giving up. The only time we had decent gravy was when my parents came, and my mother made it.

I decided enough was enough, and it was time to follow my own advice about delegation and simplification. That year, I bought two jars of turkey gravy. My guests were thankful and enjoyed tasty gravy, and I was far less stressed about it. Lesson learned.

As we head into the holiday season, take a look, see what causes you unnecessary stress and figure out how you can fix it. Sometimes, it’s just as simple as buying a jar of gravy.

The weather is finally a bit cooler as fall kicks into high gear. As we stand on the eve of the holiday season, freshen up your space in preparation.

1. Clean out the pantry, freezer and refrigerator in preparation of holiday meals and baking. Toss expired items, donate unwanted and unopened items to the local food bank, and wipe everything down. Take inventory to see what items you have so you don’t buy duplicates in the coming months.
2. Clean out your closet. As your summer items are packed up and your winter duds come out, check them to wear and tear. Toss anything that’s stained, donate items in good conditions that you no longer want, and have items needing repaired actually repaired. While you’re at it, go through your drawers and ditch the items that have seen better days.
3. Clear out your flat surfaces – coffee table, kitchen counters, nightstand, bathroom counter and home office desk. Recycle magazines, newspapers, papers and catalogues that have built up over the summer. It’s time to deal with the stuff you’ve put to the side to handle “later” and make some decisions.
4. Clean out your purse and wallet. Time to clean out the old receipts and other odd bits in your purse or wallet. Use a lint roller to clean out those crumb-like items that seem to congregate at the bottom of your purse, and wipe down the outside of your purse.
5. Donate the stuff you’ve been meaning to donate. Load the stuff you’ve been stacking up for donation in your car and take them in. It feels good to get unwanted items out of your house. (Sorry, but I can’t help you with unwanted people who may be in your home.)

Clearing out the cobwebs will get you ready for the fall season.

My friend Chris Yeager sat across from me at lunch and explained how he was quitting his job to pursue his true passion of learning to fly helicopters. We sat at a small table at the Mexican restaurant he had introduced me to, one of those dives with great food and decorated with Christmas lights.

When he told me his news, I’ll admit I was a bit flabbergasted yet supportive. I told him how even though I hadn’t flown in a helicopter, they make me nervous. “I will never fly with my friends,” he said shaking his head.

He had been unhappy with the editing work he was doing at MD Anderson and felt stuck. He had been working with my life coach and friend Marilyn who lived in California. Talking about this change made him truly happy, and as his friend, I was happy for him. After all, my job speaks to all of my passions, and with my previous two jobs, I had stayed a year too long at each and was miserable and unhappy – something Chris and I had talked about several times.

The lunch time conversation occurred several years ago, and even though we didn’t see each other as often after he left, we kept up with each other as he began flight school. The last time we actually talked on the phone was during my birthday last year. He called to apologize for not coming to my party that night because he had an opportunity to fly. “Of course, sweetie,” I said. “It’s just a party. Go fly.”

On September 10, 2012, the helicopter Chris was piloting crashed near a highway, killing him and his passenger instantly. I found out the next morning, the anniversary of 9/11, as I sipped orange juice watching the local news flickering on the television screen. As I played on my computer, I wasn’t listening too closely until I heard the words “helicopter crash,” and I looked up as the news anchor announced the pilot was Chris.

I realized I had been holding my breath. I blinked several times in disbelief, and I pulled up the story on the news station’s website. There it was in black and white. My friend was gone.

When I told my brother the news about the crash, he said, “At least you got to know him for a while.” True words, but I wanted to know him longer.

Meeting Cute Boy

I immediately spotted Chris when he began working at MD Anderson in the publications department as an editor. Since our departments were on the same floor, we were hallway buddies – the people you see and say hello to all the time. The Gay Boyfriends at work and I were all atwitter since he was good-looking. Since I didn’t know his name, I referred to him as the Cute Boy Down the Hall or “Cute Boy” for short.

At some point, we finally introduced ourselves to each other and began chatting in the hall. Chatting led to lunch and the building of a lovely friendship. He was the same age as my little brother, and he brought out my big sister qualities. When I finally confessed to the nickname I had for him, he found the Cute Boy moniker amusing and flattering since he truly did not think he was a good-looking guy.

A Celebration of Life

As I walked into the Quaker building and sat down in a pew, I saw how many people were already there, and I thought how surprised Chris would be at the turnout. During the service, people who stood and shared stories about Chris echoed the same sentiment. Always laidback and humble, Chris never considered himself smart, good-looking or funny, no matter how many times we told him he was.

Although I have many stories to share about Chris, I just couldn’t speak at the service. I was just overwhelmed with grief and pain, and listening to the other stories was just brutal. I felt so sad for his new wife, stepdaughter, family members and other friends. At some point, a co-worker from the helicopter company where Chris worked stood up and said how the flight was in his flight book, not Chris’. We all gasped, and my heart broke for the young man. Survivor guilt is a terrible, terrible thing, and I hope his family and friends take care of him.

We did have some adventures together. Here are couple of stories that I would like to share:

Hurricane Rita. While many of us fled Houston for Hurricane Rita, Chris stayed behind hoping for great storm watching. He was disappointed since Houston didn’t even get rain. As I sat in Oklahoma at my parent’s house, I receive a phone call from my brother’s alarm company. There had been a fire at the house, and the firefighters needed help securing the door. My brother and sister-in-law were in California for a conference, and I couldn’t reach them right away. The only person I knew with the necessary skill set was Chris, and I called him to help.

Chris went over to my brother’s house, and a neighbor quickly confronted him, asking who he was. Chris said, “I’m the dude’s sister’s friend.” Well, of course. Chris secured the door and the next day went back over to board it up. At one point, Chris called with a question, and I called my brother. When I told my brother to call Chris directly, my brother said, “Oh, you’re doing fine.” When I asked Chris if he wanted to talk to Ed directly, he said, “Oh, what you told me is fine.” I wound up talking to Chris on my cell phone and to my brother on my mom’s cell, and I had some choice words about male communication skills.

Chris was able to let us know that the fire was with the water heater and there was some smoke in the house but no other damage. By the end of the weekend, my parents were talking about Chris like they knew him, and my brother, grateful for his help, bought him some alcoholic beverages.

Furniture. When I bought a couple of bookshelves and a TV table for my apartment, Chris came over to help me put it together since two pieces had glass doors. He actually read the directions and insisted we put all the nails on the bookshelf backing as the directions outlined despite my protests. The two pieces he put together are in the living room of my house now. He popped into my mind the Saturday before the crash when several guests at my house asked about the furniture, and I told them about Chris and his handiwork.

Doughnuts and Mexican Food. One year for my birthday, Chris insisted on taking me out for doughnuts. He was shocked that I hadn’t eaten doughnuts in a couple of years because I was eating healthier. We met at the Shipley’s near the Medical Center to dine on doughnuts and chocolate milk.

Speaking of eating, we were good at it. We frequently had lunch at the Mexican restaurant I mentioned at the beginning. We cleaned our plates every time as we discussed everything from God and the universe to office gossip and news. During the three-hour memorial service, I kept thinking of how Chris would wonder why we all sat in the church area talking about him for three hours instead of eating in the other room.

Dating Advice. We functioned as dating coaches for each other, and we always discussed dates we had – or were trying to have. Once I had a couple of lunch dates with a guy, who took me to a cafeteria for one of those outings. Chris told me, “That’s not the place you go with someone on a date.” He was right. On one of his first dates, I told him to wear his blue shirt since it brings out his blue eyes.

Hairy Situations. I was there for him during one particular moment of tragedy: the decision he made to grow his curly black hair long. The longer his hair grew, the more he lost his Cute Boy status. Once at lunch, he said a female co-worker told him that she didn’t like his hair and asked my opinion. I agreed with his co-worker and even added how the Gay Boyfriends at work had called me to tell me to tell Cute Boy to cut his hair. “You’re not Cute Boy with long hair,” I said. He cut his hair short a couple of days later.

We were the kind of friends who could go months without talking, but we would pick right up where we left off. Chris and I chatted on Facebook a couple of times, especially when he announced his engagement to his now wife.

I wound up becoming ill at my birthday party, which was the beginning of health problems I experienced for nearly a year. Since I was ill, I didn’t have the energy or wherewithal to talk to many of my friends or hang out with them, and I felt like I have neglected everyone.

After I related the story about how he put together my furniture, I thought how I needed to call or email him to check in and let him know that I was finally healthier. I started making a mental list of several other neglected friends who I hadn’t seen in a while. One Saturday I am thinking about Chris and telling a funny story about how he helped with the furniture, and the next Saturday, I found myself attending his funeral.

Following His Passion

Watching Chris pursue his dream taught me a great deal about following your passion. Even though other co-workers thought he was insane to quit a good job to fly helicopters, I thought he was brave, and I wondered how many of the naysayers were actually envious that he was pursuing something he really wanted.

At the service, people kept repeating how Chris died doing what he was passionate about. It’s all true, but I wish he was still here with us.

As I sat on that wooden pew with tears streaming down my face, I thought about my own writing projects I keep working on but never finishing. The same ones I talked to Chris about. The same ones he encouraged me to do. The ones I have to finish to honor the memory of my friend who lived and breathed his passion. After all, what the hell am I waiting for?

Although Chris and I loved each other and valued our friendship, we never said it out loud. One lesson we all learn the hard way is not telling the important people in our lives how much we love them. To all of my friends and family – the ones who I’ve known since the dawn of time and the new ones I keep picking up along the way – I want to tell you something. You are loved. You are important. You are special. My life is better for having you in it.

So my darling Cute Boy, I thank you for the time we had together, for the lessons you taught us, and for the gift of knowing you for a while.

I will miss you, my friend.