Keeping the Self-Talk Positive

Posted By on February 18, 2009

I was sitting in my hairstylist Robin’s chair on Saturday when her daughter Madison, a spunky blonde fifth-grader, bounced into the salon. Having known her since she was born, Madison is probably one of the happiest kids I know and definitely the most extroverted. She quickly made her rounds with all of us in the salon to show us a cell phone photo of her new boyfriend Lucky and modeled the peace scarf she purchased at the consignment shop next door.

It was a drippy, blustery day. After my haircut, I had put my short-sleeve shirt back on and was preparing to leave. I bid good-bye to Robin and Madison, and Madison said, “You’re going to be cold out there.” I shrugged and said, “Well, I have enough body fat to keep me warm.” It was one of those flip, self-deprecating remarks that so many of us make about ourselves. I wasn’t prepared for Madison’s response. “You said that about your body? That’s horrible, horrible, horrible.”

Her mother and I just looked at each other with that realism that women of our age have. We both laughed it off, and I went my way.

Later that day, I thought about what Madison said. And you know what? She was right. Negative self-talk is not helpful. How many of us say bad things about ourselves to ourselves? I’ve comforted so many clients who have beat themselves up for having clutter. It doesn’t do us any good and makes us feel worse about ourselves.

So let’s keep our self-talk positive. Or to borrow a phrase from Madison, let’s keep it positive, positive, positive.



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